I don't know about you but I was actually mortified when they told me I had to push again. PUSH WHAT!? My baby was already out!
The nurse then told me I had to basically give birth to my placenta. Once it came out she asked me if I wanted to see it. Um let me think....NO! Ok well maybe...
Come to find out a lot of people actually eat it, or put it into capsules. WTF, how did I not know about this until after the fact!
The hours following the birth of my daughter there was a constant flow of doctors and nurses coming to push on my belly to see how much blood came out. The whole experience was wild (I will share my birth story in a future post) and I felt that I was completely under educated on giving birth after I had experienced it first hand.
Don't get me wrong, it was amazing, but there is so much that is not openly discussed that I will share in my birth story (a future post).
Once we were home for a while loneliness and resentment began to set in. It hit me pretty hard in the first few months. If you don't experience this be so grateful because it was so hard. I would 100% recommend seeking out professional help/guidance or speaking about your needs and emotions with loved ones rather than bottling it up. I made the mistake of doing that and it led me to take everything out on the person closest to me, my husband. I have spoken with many of women about this and it seems to be a common theme among new moms. In many cases, moms are home with the baby while their partner goes to work. This is exactly what I looked forward to when dreaming of momhood and I felt so lucky to be able to do so. I am still beyond grateful for my fortunate circumstances but I wasn't prepared for the toll it would take on me. I was up all hours of the night breast feeding, and feeding and pumping all hours of the day too.
I felt all kinds of mixed emotions, but mainly I felt like a cow being milked all day long while my husband was away working and conversing with people who could actually talk back to him. He would always come home and say how lucky I was to be able to stay home and not have to work all day like him. Like what, not work all day!? I would get furious! I was working 24 hours a day! Laundry, feeding, cleaning, changing diapers, running errands, cooking, doctors appointments, exercising (because health is important), and maybe getting 3 hours of nonconsecutive sleep a night. Peyton was colicky, that's another thing that added fuel to fire! I now look back and see all the great things my husband did for us to make sure we were all taken care of. Without two incomes it never would have been possible to live the way we were living and I appreciate him so much. He just has a different way of loving and it took me a while to understand it and accept it. That is why it is so important to discuss your physical and emotional needs with your partner also, don't just assume that they know.
They also don't warn you that the next five years of your life you are likely to spend most of at the doctors office. I thought there was something seriously wrong with my daughter, she was constantly sick! Hand foot and mouth (which I had never heard of before), a cough that refused to leave for years, fevers, pink eye, the flu, swollen body parts, basically any and every virus known to man came through our house.
The doctor would reassure me that it gets better and it's actually better for my child to be exposed in the first few years to build up her immune system before kindergarten. Peyton is five now and it’s gotten better for sure but you are forewarned, I can almost guarantee you will be at or on the phone with the pediatrician more times you can count, and you will catch yourself standing over your child at night to make sure they're breathing!
Traveling becomes a bit stressful and ridiculous! My husband and I had a wedding to attend and planned to spend the weekend away. This was the first time traveling away from home with Peyton when she was about 7 months old. We packed our SUV to the max. It was absolutely insane and pathetic how much stuff we brought for a baby who just slept. cried, and nursed all day...that's it. We brought her Pack N Play, walker, stroller, white noise machine, a full suitcase of toys, bedding, breast pump and bottles, way too many clothes and diapers. We were there one night and we needed two hotel employees to help us get everything to our room.
Of course I want to talk shopping. Quick trips to the grocery store will most likely be a thing of the past (when you do get to go alone it feels like vacation!). Just be prepared to handle feedings, diaper changes, and baby pep talks the entire time unless you have a baby that will stay asleep the entire time. Now, if your baby is a deep sleeper you may be in luck but if they wake up every time you take the car seat out you're screwed, you will skip the grocery shopping if they fall asleep on the way!
Last but definitely not least you will think morbid thoughts. Yes, you will constantly be thinking worst case scenarios when it comes to your child. You will think of your child any time something bad happens to other people and you will sob often. You will be prepared to do whatever it takes to protect your baby and you will discover a love so strong it literally hurts.
Having a child really is magical and absolutely nothing compares. These are just some things I was not prepared for and thought it may help others by discussing them so you can be better prepared to overcome the challenges that come along with becoming a new mom.
xoxo ~ Shannon